When I was in college, I was a very different person than what I am now. I was more carefree, fun loving and I couldn’t wait to get started with my own life. When I moved to US for my studies, I was very happy. I did learn a lot by living on my own and that is one of my best decision so far in life. In the past few weeks, I have been thinking a lot about how I used to be and how I am now and I cannot help but feel sad about the way I have changed. Mind you that having kids changes all of us and I love that change in me. But, I still want to be the caring fun loving person that I was 10 years ago.
Life now has become very monotonous and I hate that. On one hand, I am happy that I quit my job and I am staying home and spending some time with Sanjay. But, at the same time, I have become very lazy and I just don’t feel like doing anything at all anymore. I kind of know where all this is coming from but, there is nothing I can do now to change all that happened. A few weeks back, me and S had to deal with some stuff which was not to our liking (more so not to my liking at all). I just did not have a say in that I feel that what ever was done was very unfair and people were taking me for granted. I realized that if I do not stand up for myself, nothing will ever change. Being nice can only bring you so much. I want to have things my way and if they don’t happen my way, at least I want to see something good in what ever happens. I don’t ever want to lose my mind over simple things in life. I want to enjoy life as much as possible and have fun along the way.
I am going to force myself to see the happiness in all things possible. 🙂 I know it is easier said than done. But, I am going to put in all my efforts.
PS: I have decided to change the name I blog with (Telugumom) to Sushma. I don’t remember why I chose ‘Telugumom’ all those years ago, but I do not like it anymore.